It 4 am. It’s still pretty dark outside and I don’t wanna leave my warm, cosy bed but the train won’t wait for me. I’m actually visiting my parents, who I haven’t seen in a while and I’m going back to the place I’ve lived before. A few days ago, while I was starting to pack my things, thoughts crossed through my mind. Even tough I spent two years there, I don’t have a strong connection to that place. Of course, there’s my family and everything, but I’m saying if it weren’t for them the place wouldn’t see me again soon.
The place itself is nice, a small town (more a village, if you come from a big ciy) up in the hills, with a big lake and lots od woods that surround it. You can swimm in the lake in the summer or go skiing near it at winter. But a nice place isn’t enough to feel connected to it. I travelled to the University every day 2 hours for two years. Maybe I didn’t like it because my “main” life was down there in the city and everyday travelling was kinda exhausting.
But, back to the train station. It’s a holiday in Germany which usually means that there’s not a lot of people at 5am. I was wrong. It looked like it was 5pm on a Friday. Sometimes I just like to drink my coffee at the train station and to look at people. Not like a freak but it’s a place where you can’t feel alone, no matter how lonely you feel at a moment. It’s interessting to see that time is a beginning for many people but also an end of the day for the rest. Yes, there are a few people who don’t have that beginning and end and they just continue like nothing happend through the night. Younger people were obviously going home from a party, one can tell from the mascara that wasn’t on it’s place and the sleepy eyes which are almost closing. Families saying “goodbye” and tears fighting with the rest of the body because they won’t to fall. Some of them loose the “war” and become fallen soldiers. Couples falling into each others arms and different kind of tears, dropps competing to meet at the chin and jump into a new world.
These are the lucky ones. It doesn’t matter if it’s a sad or a happy occasion, they have people standing behind them. They’ll get back and someone will wait for them. But there’s a lot of people getting out of the traing who just look lost (no, not like, when is my next train going or what time it is), longing for someone to wait for them. Wanting to be waved at and ready to run into a hug.
My problem is that I can’t see people crying, especially at the station. Sometimes I wanted to do the same thing so I know how they feel but I stopped myself before I even started. Recently a girl next to me cried her eyes out, people with judging looks walked by, some of them even laughed. I just took a tissue out of my bag and handed it to her, without saying a word. She was surprised, took it and sat there and after a short period she stopped crying. After she got up, she hugged and said thank you. I waved at her, while she was going away. That’s what I’m talking about. Lost. In thoughts our on trips..it’s similar.
And my favorite kind of peole – the ones with coffee to go in their hands. They always look so ready, ready to fight the world or to climb on a hill right away. Sometimes I’m jealous, not in a bad way, but just wanting to get my stuff together like they seem to manage.
I don’t know if I like train stations because I had to spend much time there or because I got used to them and they’re like a part of me. But no one can’t deny that they’re magical in their own way.