It’s raining (man… hallelujah?)*

It’s May. You wouldn’t say so if you’d look outside my window. Last year, on this exact same day it was waaay too hot but I liked that. You get up, put on a T-Shirt, jeans, sneakers and you’re ready to go. Now, I get up (too late, of course), say sorry to our warm and cozy bed and the mission begins. How many layers do I have to wear, which umbrella won’t break because it’s pretty windy, which sneakers are waterproof, …?

*I just wanted to say you shouldn’t wonder if you see lyrics in the title. I’m an annoying person who always has a song stuck in her head and people around me know which one it is. No need for explaining how they know it 🙂 I hope you don’t mind. Big got used to it (or kinda had to ), you don’t have to but it would be nice if you’d opened our post!

Do you like rain? What do you do when it’s raining?

Big really enjoys to be at home, watch movies and chill, I just want to sleep and that’s not good because it’s time to start studying for my finals. As I mentioned, German isn’t my mother language and it takes longer for me to learn something. Today I was sitting in the library looking through the window and I can’t tell you what was happening outside but I can tell you which raindrop won the competition! Remember when you were a child and you were travelling somewhere far away, in time where nobody even had a phone (we’re not gonna mention smartphones) and you had to make up games to make the time go by faster? Well, today I was a (very unproductive) child.

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How do you even pick a favorite raindrop? It’s not fair to the other one. No one is cheering for it. When we compare the raindrops with life in general, it’s pretty similar. Someone could be trying hard to make it’s life better but there’s always another person, who doesn’t have to be better than the first one, but has the support you’re missing. When your raindrop moves for a millimeter you’re happy, supportive and believe in it. Then, it’s quiet for a short period. It’s just standing there. And it’s the same with me when there’s no sun. I have the feeling that everybody is doing something, except me. The world is going and I’m standing still. And I don’t like that feeling.
Suddenly the drop moves very fast again and there’s hope. Hope that it’ll get to the end first. And sometimes I’m excited, for no specific reason , I’m just excited for a new day, irrelevant if the day was good or bad. Then the day comes and nothing happens in particular. I’m not feeling sad, happy, disappointed, nothing. And it’s the same with the end of the raindrop race. It doesn’t happen anything. A new drop appears at the top of the window, your new hope, your new day.

I do believe in new beginnings every day. Not the typically ‘new year, new chapter/book’ thing. But I couldn’t live without hope and it doesn’t have to do anything with faith or religion. It’s good to show every single of your feelings. Holding it back doesn’t do any good for you. Feeling empty hurts you and it’s hard to go back to ‘normal’ after it.
Hope, on the other hand, gives you something, yes sometimes even disappointment but it’s better than not to feel anything. Be like a raindrop once in a while, just don’t forget to cheer for yourself when you don’t have anyone to do it for you. Be your own hero, be happy when you ‘win’, motivate yourself to start from the beginning again. Think about goals you want to achieve and start doing something for yourself. If you don’t do it alone, no one else will.

These rainy day encourage me to be reminisce about myself, my week and goals. I’m taking small steps, so even if something bad happens I can get back on my feet quickly and improve myself.

Enough of daydreaming for today, I better start working on my goals, don’t wanna preach something I’m not living.

Have a good day,

Smol & Big