What would you do?

Sometimes it’s just one of these days when you get up and everything goes wrong. No matter what you’re doing. You can’t crawl back to your bed or hide from people. You have to face the world around you.

Well, today’s the day for me. It’s raining heavily outside, I’ve packed everything in waterproof bags and was ready to go onto the streets with my favorite pink umbrella. (I really like colorful umbrellas, the world is grey enough when it’s raining and they give everyone a nice ‘happy’ touch! It’s sweet when they’re transparent so you’re able to see the raindrops, too. We talked about that already, didn’t we? 🙂 ) Today was gonna be a long day (it still is) and I was mentally prepared for it. My friend asked me if we wanted to meet for a coffee and who could say no to it?

We were in the middle of our chat and I saw her moving the chair so that a man in a wheelchair could pass easily to his table. Another man came behind him and I honestly haven’t noticed them because I wasn’t facing them. Suddenly, the man in the wheelchair turned to my friend and asked her if she new the singer from the cover of the newspaper he was holding in front of her face. I didn’t think anything (good nor bad), because I heard from the color of his voice that he was an older man. We all know that old people like to talk a lot, mostly because they’re feeling lonely or just have enough spare time. The other man was still sitting and I couldn’t see him well but then he turned around I saw he is completely drunk. As the first man continued to talk I noticed he was also drunk but you couldn’t notice it right away. They were asking lot of questions and I really don’t like to talk with people I feel uncomfortable with. It doesn’t matter if they’re young or old, or anything else.
It was getting more and more uncomfortable, I still haven’t said anything at all, and I stared to look around myself. Around us, there were only men, between 35 and 50 years old, some of them even put away their headphones so that they could here this awkward conversation. I formed the word “HELP” with my lips, without saying it while looking at the man sitting behind my friend. He looked at me and his eyes left mine. I did the same with the man sitting across our table. He also did nothing. I stood up, took our cups, went to the bar and asked the stuff politely if they could help us. The men haven’t ordered anything in the time while sitting there and really smelled bad. They were just looking at me like I was a fool so I took my things and said to my friend that our bus is leaving. The man in the wheelchair suddenly pulled out a bottle of some alcohol and started drinking and that’s when the waitress came and asked him to stop because alcohol isn’t allowed at that cafe. When they saw that we were leaving they said that we should wait and that they’ll go with us and that’s the moment we really run away.

Outside we looked at each other and didn’t have to ask each other how we were feeling because we read it from our faces. I can’t tell you why, but we felt exhausted, like we were working or running for miles. We didn’t do neither of it of course. In the street across our first cafe, was a nice small restaurant and we decided to drink our coffee there, hopefully in peace. We were trying to distract our thoughts from the event which took place few minutes ago, but our conversation led to it soon. I just can’t believe no one even tried to help us. Let’s be honest. I don’t expect anything from anyone but I was feeling visibly uncomfortable and was reaching out for help. It would be nice if someone said: ‘Hey, the girls were chatting, maybe they wanna be alone. What do you think?’, or anything else someone could think of. I know I’d do that. I know I’d wanna help someone. My job, one day, is going to be to rescue people and maybe it’s why I think like that. What would you do if you were me? Did I do anything wrong?

I’m not a dramatic person, nothing didn’t happen. No one was hurt in any kind of way (you never know these days). But it really made my think about it a lot. Is it so hard to stand up for someone you don’t know? What do you have to loose? How would you feel if it were you sitting there? Why are people so selfish and afraid
I’m not an introvert but, like I said, I don’t want to talk with anyone unknown or ‘weird’ to me. If being free means that we can choose who’re we talking or spending time with, I have to add I didn’t feel free or safe at all. No, I’m not gonna stop coming to that cafe with my friend but the next time I’ll be smarter. It was also my fault I didn’t say anything loudly but I can’t explain why I hadn’t done it. My mouth was sealed and word weren’t coming out of it. That’s the feeling that scared my to be honest. Maybe I’ll just need to sleep over it and it will be better.

The one thing I know is that I don’t want to feel helpless like that ever in my life. If no one pushes me, I’ll push myself.

At the end of the day I saw a rainbow… Maybe it was a sign 🙂

Yours,

Smol n Big

Daily struggle of cooking fresh meals

As it says on our blog, this is a couple’s blog and we’re also dealing with every day struggles in our home. One of them is lack of ideas in our kitchen. What does that even mean?
Well, when you live alone and work/or go to school/ university you don’t care much about cooking. The greatest meal you make is probably a can of soup or pasta with some sauce. You mostly eat at work or bring a sandwich from home. (Yes I’m aware there are many healthier versions but some of us aren’t that well prepared)
On weekend you meet with friends or order something so that problem is also solved. I like making sweets but don’t like to eat them so I’m making cakes for my family or friends. It was more like a hobby in my spare time and it still is but that was the story of me and my usage of the kitchen.

Then there is Big. He is a professional cook. All what a girl can dream of 🙂
We had a long distance relationship for over two years and in the time we were seeing each other not so often we sometimes cooked together but we just wanted to spend time with one another no matter what we were doing. Now it’s different. We still want to do stuff together and to cook but we’re struggling because we’ve come into the cycle of the daily routine. We eat everything and don’t have any special preferences. Mostly meat with some side dish, pasta or rice and vegetables. We take care that our plate includes proteins, vitamins and healthy carbs. The only thing we regret is that we can’t always eat/cook together and at the same time because our schedules don’t often match. What we try is, to eat our last meal before 8 pm because it’s healthier and we feel better not to go sleeping with a full stomach.

But the main problem that we wanted to write about is – what to cook every day? People who are well organized make a menu for the whole week over the weekend and only go shopping once a week – we could do that to – but (yes; excuses, excuses) we can’t even decide what to eat today, especially not the next Friday. How do you decide when and what to make? If you have any great ideas, please, share them with us, we’re kinda desperate.

We read blogs about ‘fast’ meals which can be prepared in 40- 50 minutes, search the Internet for any ideas and even go trough Jamie Oliver’s books about fast and easy to be made food and discover that for every meals we’re missing at least one special ingredient. I’m pretty sure you know what I’m talking about – you’re going through the list, everything seems to be normal and easy and you have everything at home – EXCEPT that one thing which is kinda making the meal so special. In that moment you’re thinking oh F it and make a meal that is well known for you. But we’re not quitters. At least we make something. Our pro tip is to have different ingredients at home – meat/ fish (if you’re not vegetarian/vegan), pasta, vegetables/ fruits, diary products and you’ll be on the safe side for sure.

Why are we mentioning this? In this modern world people just take the easy road and order something. As a medical student I can assure you that, if you read the statistics, there are much more illness than lets say 15 years ago. I don’t even want to start the topic about everything that is put in our food, the processes used to make our food last longer, etc. So any meal you decide to make at home, no matter how unhealthy you thing it is, it is better than the same meal ordered in restaurant. We can’t tell you what happens behind the kitchen door in very expensive restaurants but we know what happens in the ordinary ones, in the middle priced ones at least. The food comes half prepared, waiting to be thrown in the water or oil and served on the plate. The quality is not that important for most of the restaurants, it’s the money that counts. Yes, it’s like that with almost every branch but, come on people, we want to live after eating take out food or somewhere outside our house.

There is also an option to make food for two days, something you can ‘eat with a spoon’ (that’s the literally translation of the expression from our mother language), a soup or goulash. You save time and it’s really healthy! It’s only a little bit hard when you live alone and make a bigger amount of it because you could it eat it for days and it’ll get ‘boring’ for you but sometimes it’s really worth it, especially in the winter time.

Experiment! How bad can it get? Don’t try the most unusual things at the beginning. Start with a salad (if you like it) or some basic pasta. Try to cook something every day. Sometimes if you’re not lazy and make a meal after you come home from a hard day, you can take the rest to work tomorrow. I, for an example, love to eat chicken. And if we eat it for dinner, I make one piece more on purpose and make a sandwich in the morning or cut it into small pieces and add it to a salad. In case you don’t eat meat you can prepare bulgur, a really cool dish that comes from Turkey, with tomatoes and zucchini. That one is delicious, both warm and cold. Always have fruit by your side. We recommend it more than a protein bar or something similar. You can change it every day and depending on the season. Spring is great for strawberries, cherries, blueberries, avocado, etc. It gives you enough sugar to make your day sweeter and energy to keep going through the day!

We’ ll try new techniques with our grocery shopping and if it works out, we’re surely tell you all about it!
The point is, don’t be lazy! Making food can also be fun if you do it together and the feeling that you get from eating your own meal is incredible! Just try it out and let us know if we could inspire you to do something new in your kitchen!

Yours,

Smol n Big

Train Stations and Travelling

It 4 am. It’s still pretty dark outside and I don’t wanna leave my warm, cosy bed but the train won’t wait for me. I’m actually visiting my parents, who I haven’t seen in a while and I’m going back to the place I’ve lived before. A few days ago, while I was starting to pack my things, thoughts crossed through my mind. Even tough I spent two years there, I don’t have a strong connection to that place. Of course, there’s my family and everything, but I’m saying if it weren’t for them the place wouldn’t see me again soon.

The place itself is nice, a small town (more a village, if you come from a big ciy) up in the hills, with a big lake and lots od woods that surround it. You can swimm in the lake in the summer or go skiing near it at winter. But a nice place isn’t enough to feel connected to it. I travelled to the University every day 2 hours for two years. Maybe I didn’t like it because my “main” life was down there in the city and everyday travelling was kinda exhausting.

But, back to the train station. It’s a holiday in Germany which usually means that there’s not a lot of people at 5am. I was wrong. It looked like it was 5pm on a Friday. Sometimes I just like to drink my coffee at the train station and to look at people. Not like a freak but it’s a place where you can’t feel alone, no matter how lonely you feel at a moment. It’s interessting to see that time is a beginning for many people but also an end of the day for the rest. Yes, there are a few people who don’t have that beginning and end and they just continue like nothing happend through the night. Younger people were obviously going home from a party, one can tell from the mascara that wasn’t on it’s place and the sleepy eyes which are almost closing. Families saying “goodbye” and tears fighting with the rest of the body because they won’t to fall. Some of them loose the “war” and become fallen soldiers. Couples falling into each others arms and different kind of tears, dropps competing to meet at the chin and jump into a new world.

These are the lucky ones. It doesn’t matter if it’s a sad or a happy occasion, they have people standing behind them. They’ll get back and someone will wait for them. But there’s a lot of people getting out of the traing who just look lost (no, not like, when is my next train going or what time it is), longing for someone to wait for them. Wanting to be waved at and ready to run into a hug.

My problem is that I can’t see people crying, especially at the station. Sometimes I wanted to do the same thing so I know how they feel but I stopped myself before I even started. Recently a girl next to me cried her eyes out, people with judging looks walked by, some of them even laughed. I just took a tissue out of my bag and handed it to her, without saying a word. She was surprised, took it and sat there and after a short period she stopped crying. After she got up, she hugged and said thank you. I waved at her, while she was going away. That’s what I’m talking about. Lost. In thoughts our on trips..it’s similar.

And my favorite kind of peole – the ones with coffee to go in their hands. They always look so ready, ready to fight the world or to climb on a hill right away. Sometimes I’m jealous, not in a bad way, but just wanting to get my stuff together like they seem to manage.

I don’t know if I like train stations because I had to spend much time there or because I got used to them and they’re like a part of me. But no one can’t deny that they’re magical in their own way.