Hey, where are we?

So, here we are, back on track! You probably know those people from Youtube or Instagram, who have a lot of followers and always make excuses if they’re offline for two, three days and feel “obligated” to be always available?
Well, we’re not one of those people, we are just “normal” (what’s normal these days…?) people with jobs and responsibilities. The last week was really stressful and I felt like it lasted forever. I hate to post something not written with heart&soul, something that wasn’t really thought through. So that’s why we’re posting less but everything we write is really something we wanted you to know and something we wanted to share.

Today I’m just gonna write an update.I’m pretty much very busy with my university stuff and in the exact moment I start to think: ‘Oh, after this it’ll be much easier’, it doesn’t get any easier and I get more stuff to do than I did before. But I guess, that’s how it’s supposed to be. And it’ll last for the next few years 🙂
What I do, as a side job, is to work as a tutor. I help children, 6-18 year old ones, to improve their knowledge and get better grades. Back in my secondary and high school days, I’ve always helped my school mates with their problems, no matter which topic it was. Now, I do feel kind of stupid, because I know they weren’t all my friends but hey, I realized it at some point and that’s important. I knew how to explain things in a easier way than teachers did in school. Did I ever thought about teaching as a possible job? Yes, and the answer was no. The thing is, we can’t choose a class we get (it’s like that with families too, isn’t it?), but we can choose our students. Kids nowadays have many possibilities, which they’re not using as they should, they’re not interested in any additional work and the thing about their parents – they don’t believe the teacher when one mentions something bad about their child. They deny it right away and it’s always the teacher’s faul if the grades aren’t as the parents imagined. The children also take advantage of it and the circle never ends. I’m not saying they aren’t bad teachers, too. I’ve met a lot of them, they know their topic really well but can’t transfer it to the students so that’s understandably for them. There’s also a group of mean teachers, who don’t like kids or a job that they’re doing but that’s a total different topic.
As a tutor, you can choose your students. My first rule is: if you don’t want to study because you decided it on your own, you and I shouldn’t be here, sitting together.
I don’t need much, just a student’s will to learn something they’re struggling with and to catch up the stuff they’re missed in the last chapter or last few months/years. I’m working a lot, as much as my university leaves me time to work. But if I’m doing something, I’m doing it with all my heart. Before every lesson I make papers for students, shorten their lessons, make examples and always work with the tasks from their books. The thing I try to teach them is, how to explain the stuff you don’t know very well or you’re not interested at all by yourself, without additional help. My main goal is to improve their skills, get them interested for a specific subject and teach them how to study properly. That’s the same what I say to their parents. I maybe seem strict at the beginning but as they get to know me, they see I really like mutual respect and the rules we set up. So yeah, I have a lot about it to say, I may write a separate blog about it, now you know it takes time not to only work with children, but also prepare every lesson separately.

Big is visiting his family and I really miss him. I noticed I sleep less and I really can’t explain why I fall asleep so fast when he’s around me. I feel secure and safe and know nothing bad is gonna happen at the moment. Now I’m constantly worrying and thinking about stuff I have to do the next day and it stresses me out. In a blog I read here, I did find an interesting sentence: “Sleep now, plan tomorrow”. It’s true, you didn’t do anything productive because it’s already 2 am and you didn’t sleep well and the circle continues. I can’t wait to see Big again and that’s also a reason I keep myself busy the whole day. Big is a beautiful country, that I’ll start to write about soon!

This is Big’s view!

I’ve also had toothache, which I didn’t felt for a very, very long time. Today I have an appointment and I’ll tell you all about it.

Oh, now I’m aware I didn’t write for a long time. There’s so much to say but I’ll be back very soon!

Hope you’re having a good Monday and a good week!

Yours,
Smol&Big

What would you do?

Sometimes it’s just one of these days when you get up and everything goes wrong. No matter what you’re doing. You can’t crawl back to your bed or hide from people. You have to face the world around you.

Well, today’s the day for me. It’s raining heavily outside, I’ve packed everything in waterproof bags and was ready to go onto the streets with my favorite pink umbrella. (I really like colorful umbrellas, the world is grey enough when it’s raining and they give everyone a nice ‘happy’ touch! It’s sweet when they’re transparent so you’re able to see the raindrops, too. We talked about that already, didn’t we? 🙂 ) Today was gonna be a long day (it still is) and I was mentally prepared for it. My friend asked me if we wanted to meet for a coffee and who could say no to it?

We were in the middle of our chat and I saw her moving the chair so that a man in a wheelchair could pass easily to his table. Another man came behind him and I honestly haven’t noticed them because I wasn’t facing them. Suddenly, the man in the wheelchair turned to my friend and asked her if she new the singer from the cover of the newspaper he was holding in front of her face. I didn’t think anything (good nor bad), because I heard from the color of his voice that he was an older man. We all know that old people like to talk a lot, mostly because they’re feeling lonely or just have enough spare time. The other man was still sitting and I couldn’t see him well but then he turned around I saw he is completely drunk. As the first man continued to talk I noticed he was also drunk but you couldn’t notice it right away. They were asking lot of questions and I really don’t like to talk with people I feel uncomfortable with. It doesn’t matter if they’re young or old, or anything else.
It was getting more and more uncomfortable, I still haven’t said anything at all, and I stared to look around myself. Around us, there were only men, between 35 and 50 years old, some of them even put away their headphones so that they could here this awkward conversation. I formed the word “HELP” with my lips, without saying it while looking at the man sitting behind my friend. He looked at me and his eyes left mine. I did the same with the man sitting across our table. He also did nothing. I stood up, took our cups, went to the bar and asked the stuff politely if they could help us. The men haven’t ordered anything in the time while sitting there and really smelled bad. They were just looking at me like I was a fool so I took my things and said to my friend that our bus is leaving. The man in the wheelchair suddenly pulled out a bottle of some alcohol and started drinking and that’s when the waitress came and asked him to stop because alcohol isn’t allowed at that cafe. When they saw that we were leaving they said that we should wait and that they’ll go with us and that’s the moment we really run away.

Outside we looked at each other and didn’t have to ask each other how we were feeling because we read it from our faces. I can’t tell you why, but we felt exhausted, like we were working or running for miles. We didn’t do neither of it of course. In the street across our first cafe, was a nice small restaurant and we decided to drink our coffee there, hopefully in peace. We were trying to distract our thoughts from the event which took place few minutes ago, but our conversation led to it soon. I just can’t believe no one even tried to help us. Let’s be honest. I don’t expect anything from anyone but I was feeling visibly uncomfortable and was reaching out for help. It would be nice if someone said: ‘Hey, the girls were chatting, maybe they wanna be alone. What do you think?’, or anything else someone could think of. I know I’d do that. I know I’d wanna help someone. My job, one day, is going to be to rescue people and maybe it’s why I think like that. What would you do if you were me? Did I do anything wrong?

I’m not a dramatic person, nothing didn’t happen. No one was hurt in any kind of way (you never know these days). But it really made my think about it a lot. Is it so hard to stand up for someone you don’t know? What do you have to loose? How would you feel if it were you sitting there? Why are people so selfish and afraid
I’m not an introvert but, like I said, I don’t want to talk with anyone unknown or ‘weird’ to me. If being free means that we can choose who’re we talking or spending time with, I have to add I didn’t feel free or safe at all. No, I’m not gonna stop coming to that cafe with my friend but the next time I’ll be smarter. It was also my fault I didn’t say anything loudly but I can’t explain why I hadn’t done it. My mouth was sealed and word weren’t coming out of it. That’s the feeling that scared my to be honest. Maybe I’ll just need to sleep over it and it will be better.

The one thing I know is that I don’t want to feel helpless like that ever in my life. If no one pushes me, I’ll push myself.

At the end of the day I saw a rainbow… Maybe it was a sign 🙂

Yours,

Smol n Big

It’s raining (man… hallelujah?)*

It’s May. You wouldn’t say so if you’d look outside my window. Last year, on this exact same day it was waaay too hot but I liked that. You get up, put on a T-Shirt, jeans, sneakers and you’re ready to go. Now, I get up (too late, of course), say sorry to our warm and cozy bed and the mission begins. How many layers do I have to wear, which umbrella won’t break because it’s pretty windy, which sneakers are waterproof, …?

*I just wanted to say you shouldn’t wonder if you see lyrics in the title. I’m an annoying person who always has a song stuck in her head and people around me know which one it is. No need for explaining how they know it 🙂 I hope you don’t mind. Big got used to it (or kinda had to ), you don’t have to but it would be nice if you’d opened our post!

Do you like rain? What do you do when it’s raining?

Big really enjoys to be at home, watch movies and chill, I just want to sleep and that’s not good because it’s time to start studying for my finals. As I mentioned, German isn’t my mother language and it takes longer for me to learn something. Today I was sitting in the library looking through the window and I can’t tell you what was happening outside but I can tell you which raindrop won the competition! Remember when you were a child and you were travelling somewhere far away, in time where nobody even had a phone (we’re not gonna mention smartphones) and you had to make up games to make the time go by faster? Well, today I was a (very unproductive) child.

How do you even pick a favorite raindrop? It’s not fair to the other one. No one is cheering for it. When we compare the raindrops with life in general, it’s pretty similar. Someone could be trying hard to make it’s life better but there’s always another person, who doesn’t have to be better than the first one, but has the support you’re missing. When your raindrop moves for a millimeter you’re happy, supportive and believe in it. Then, it’s quiet for a short period. It’s just standing there. And it’s the same with me when there’s no sun. I have the feeling that everybody is doing something, except me. The world is going and I’m standing still. And I don’t like that feeling.
Suddenly the drop moves very fast again and there’s hope. Hope that it’ll get to the end first. And sometimes I’m excited, for no specific reason , I’m just excited for a new day, irrelevant if the day was good or bad. Then the day comes and nothing happens in particular. I’m not feeling sad, happy, disappointed, nothing. And it’s the same with the end of the raindrop race. It doesn’t happen anything. A new drop appears at the top of the window, your new hope, your new day.

I do believe in new beginnings every day. Not the typically ‘new year, new chapter/book’ thing. But I couldn’t live without hope and it doesn’t have to do anything with faith or religion. It’s good to show every single of your feelings. Holding it back doesn’t do any good for you. Feeling empty hurts you and it’s hard to go back to ‘normal’ after it.
Hope, on the other hand, gives you something, yes sometimes even disappointment but it’s better than not to feel anything. Be like a raindrop once in a while, just don’t forget to cheer for yourself when you don’t have anyone to do it for you. Be your own hero, be happy when you ‘win’, motivate yourself to start from the beginning again. Think about goals you want to achieve and start doing something for yourself. If you don’t do it alone, no one else will.

These rainy day encourage me to be reminisce about myself, my week and goals. I’m taking small steps, so even if something bad happens I can get back on my feet quickly and improve myself.

Enough of daydreaming for today, I better start working on my goals, don’t wanna preach something I’m not living.

Have a good day,

Smol & Big

Daily struggle of cooking fresh meals

As it says on our blog, this is a couple’s blog and we’re also dealing with every day struggles in our home. One of them is lack of ideas in our kitchen. What does that even mean?
Well, when you live alone and work/or go to school/ university you don’t care much about cooking. The greatest meal you make is probably a can of soup or pasta with some sauce. You mostly eat at work or bring a sandwich from home. (Yes I’m aware there are many healthier versions but some of us aren’t that well prepared)
On weekend you meet with friends or order something so that problem is also solved. I like making sweets but don’t like to eat them so I’m making cakes for my family or friends. It was more like a hobby in my spare time and it still is but that was the story of me and my usage of the kitchen.

Then there is Big. He is a professional cook. All what a girl can dream of 🙂
We had a long distance relationship for over two years and in the time we were seeing each other not so often we sometimes cooked together but we just wanted to spend time with one another no matter what we were doing. Now it’s different. We still want to do stuff together and to cook but we’re struggling because we’ve come into the cycle of the daily routine. We eat everything and don’t have any special preferences. Mostly meat with some side dish, pasta or rice and vegetables. We take care that our plate includes proteins, vitamins and healthy carbs. The only thing we regret is that we can’t always eat/cook together and at the same time because our schedules don’t often match. What we try is, to eat our last meal before 8 pm because it’s healthier and we feel better not to go sleeping with a full stomach.

But the main problem that we wanted to write about is – what to cook every day? People who are well organized make a menu for the whole week over the weekend and only go shopping once a week – we could do that to – but (yes; excuses, excuses) we can’t even decide what to eat today, especially not the next Friday. How do you decide when and what to make? If you have any great ideas, please, share them with us, we’re kinda desperate.

We read blogs about ‘fast’ meals which can be prepared in 40- 50 minutes, search the Internet for any ideas and even go trough Jamie Oliver’s books about fast and easy to be made food and discover that for every meals we’re missing at least one special ingredient. I’m pretty sure you know what I’m talking about – you’re going through the list, everything seems to be normal and easy and you have everything at home – EXCEPT that one thing which is kinda making the meal so special. In that moment you’re thinking oh F it and make a meal that is well known for you. But we’re not quitters. At least we make something. Our pro tip is to have different ingredients at home – meat/ fish (if you’re not vegetarian/vegan), pasta, vegetables/ fruits, diary products and you’ll be on the safe side for sure.

Why are we mentioning this? In this modern world people just take the easy road and order something. As a medical student I can assure you that, if you read the statistics, there are much more illness than lets say 15 years ago. I don’t even want to start the topic about everything that is put in our food, the processes used to make our food last longer, etc. So any meal you decide to make at home, no matter how unhealthy you thing it is, it is better than the same meal ordered in restaurant. We can’t tell you what happens behind the kitchen door in very expensive restaurants but we know what happens in the ordinary ones, in the middle priced ones at least. The food comes half prepared, waiting to be thrown in the water or oil and served on the plate. The quality is not that important for most of the restaurants, it’s the money that counts. Yes, it’s like that with almost every branch but, come on people, we want to live after eating take out food or somewhere outside our house.

There is also an option to make food for two days, something you can ‘eat with a spoon’ (that’s the literally translation of the expression from our mother language), a soup or goulash. You save time and it’s really healthy! It’s only a little bit hard when you live alone and make a bigger amount of it because you could it eat it for days and it’ll get ‘boring’ for you but sometimes it’s really worth it, especially in the winter time.

Experiment! How bad can it get? Don’t try the most unusual things at the beginning. Start with a salad (if you like it) or some basic pasta. Try to cook something every day. Sometimes if you’re not lazy and make a meal after you come home from a hard day, you can take the rest to work tomorrow. I, for an example, love to eat chicken. And if we eat it for dinner, I make one piece more on purpose and make a sandwich in the morning or cut it into small pieces and add it to a salad. In case you don’t eat meat you can prepare bulgur, a really cool dish that comes from Turkey, with tomatoes and zucchini. That one is delicious, both warm and cold. Always have fruit by your side. We recommend it more than a protein bar or something similar. You can change it every day and depending on the season. Spring is great for strawberries, cherries, blueberries, avocado, etc. It gives you enough sugar to make your day sweeter and energy to keep going through the day!

We’ ll try new techniques with our grocery shopping and if it works out, we’re surely tell you all about it!
The point is, don’t be lazy! Making food can also be fun if you do it together and the feeling that you get from eating your own meal is incredible! Just try it out and let us know if we could inspire you to do something new in your kitchen!

Yours,

Smol n Big